. I wish someone would have told me that…….forgiveness is something that
others use to excuse themselves . By Love Tucker

In my opinion forgiveness is given away too frequently, too often, and
sometimes to the wrong people. Do you continue to forgive someone of something
they do repeatedly, then you become frustrated? That’s because anything that
someone does over and over again is called a habit. If we agree with Einstein’s
view that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again (like forgiving)
and expecting a different outcome ( like a change in behavior) and don’t get it
than what are we? Maybe a little insane? Not enough to be admitted, but enough
to be frustrated.

I think that frustration comes not just because you may not trust
another’s actions or words at face value. I think it is also because you had
some power before you forgave them. You had the power to not accept their apology.
You could have said no, I don’t believe that you will change. I don’t believe
that you said it because you were mad. I think that you were intentionally
trying to hurt me emotionally. At one time in my life people would tell me that
I was too rigid. That I held on to grudges. Me? I am smart! I don’t come to a
conclusion lightly. I take account to history. Does this person have a history
of lying to me and not sticking to their word, or is this person boldly
ignoring my wishes? Should I continue to subject myself to that? Hmmmm, what’s
the sane answer?

I’ve heard that forgiveness is for you. BS. In my view it is for the
other person. To assuage their guilt. And sure we have all been on the side of
wanting forgiveness. And even we are surprised at times that we are forgiven
for something. Why? Because we recognize our behavior as egregious.  But do you try to make amends? Really and
truly? Or do you revert back to a comfort zone when it feels like the other
person no longer seems tense about whatever it is you were forgiven for?

The quickest thing that comes to mind for me is betrayal. Whether it’s a
test in school, a marriage, a friendship. The one who was wronged is expected
to ‘be the bigger person’ and just ( yep poof magically all is okay in the world-just)
forgive the other person. What happened to consequences for actions? If you
betrayed a friend, they probably won’t be your friend anymore. If you cheat on
a spouse they have a right to be mad, and yea get a divorce too. It seems
simple. If you do something bad, you get punished.

I’m not saying that accidents don’t happen. I’m not saying that
sometimes circumstances cant be helped and some understanding of that is a
courtesy. In other cases however, where an act requires a choice and someone made
the wrong choice, bestowing forgiveness shouldn’t be so easily. Take a pause,
access the situation. Should you give it up so easily? Should you make a demand
to aid in you being made whole again? Should you forgive at all? Sometimes not
forgiving protects you from more hurt. There is a line in a James Morrison song
that most eloquently describes my feelings on this. “I try to forgive, but
it’s not enough, to make it all okay.” What will make things okay again?
Your acceptance ? Is there something that you’ve forgiven that you wish that
you didn’t? Did it help your life moving 
forward? Do you feel as though forgiveness is a clean slate and
everything is wonderful afterwards? Do you feel that if you do not forgive,
then you will never be forgiven?

Exodus (Exit from Egypt)

Egypt is a state of the mind. It is leaving where you had been and going to where you need or want to be. God has a place for us to go. A place for us to worship Him in. (scripture) It is a place of Divine Health & Healing. It is the place of perfect alignment between the spirit man, the soul man and the physical man. This place takes a Divinely Inspired journey. God is the only One that can get you through this process and it is your choice to accept. He works with you and we work with Him.

When the children of Israel were leaving physical Egypt, God knew it was only the beginning. The beginning of change is more difficult than the end. It’s hard to believe that many of us were slaves to food at one time or another in our lives. Now moving forward is the proactive way of leaving the past behind. How can we make that first step? For me, it included making a list of healthy food behavior that I had not been following. For instance, eating fruit on a regular basis or drinking water daily! Gradually, I allowed Holy Spirit to wean me off of cow’s milk. He had previously shown me how it was causing excess mucus and inflammation in myself and in the baby I was nursing. It was a slow, but progressive process where desire grew to eat healthy foods that I had not previously taken delight in eating. The Lord says, “If you delight yourself in Me, I will give you the desires of your heart.”

While I was pregnant with my second child and only daughter, I experienced symptoms of body odor and constipation such as I had never experienced before! I had heard of a young woman named Dr. Beverly Nicholson on a radio broadcast program discuss an oral intestinal cleanse for the body. She compared our physical bodies to a car needing oil changes after so many miles and domestic animals needing de-worming(as we do our dogs). “Why don’t humans get de-wormed?!”, she exclaimed. “Our bodies live in an environment that is increasingly more toxic and unhealthy for us to live (breathe) in.

I went to visit the late Dr. Nicholson at her home on the south side of Chicago to purchase a colon cleanse even though I was pregnant. I was desperate because nothing up to this point had helped to release my constipation. This product which included liquid chlorophyl and cascara sagrada worked amazingly for me and my daughter was born healthy with no complications. Praise God!

So what I am saying is that we need to begin to make a conscious effort to leave a certain unhealthy lifestyle for one that will increase our life span and allow us to be available to labor for the Lord Jesus. In closing, without faith it is impossible to please God. Yes, even without action, faith becomes a dead work. Let’s live with faith and allow Holy Spirit to take us through His seasons of exodus! Amen!

I was on to something. We were on to something and I was all too proud to see a simple idea grow into something far greater than I had planned. I simply called it “xoxo – A Celebration of Women in Music”.

1. In 2006 myself along with “New Found Frequency – Your Live Music Network”, embarked on an international live music tour across 8 countries celebrating women in music. The movement began in Melbourne Australia. It was fueled by my desire to showcase and promote independent and under represented music from woman across the globe. Challenged by the tyranny of distance, low budgets and the heavy logistics that go into the planning of a musical tour, the journey was sure to be demanding. It was definitely one that would require a lot of patience and team work. On paper the plan looked manageable but logistically it was going to take some real preparation and contingency planning. I knew all too well that when on tour what can go wrong, will go wrong. In this case I was hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. No stranger to the road, I spent my early adult years touring across the US and Australia with my band mates, with an idealistic head space of “making it big.” When that didn’t happen and I returned to reality, I started re-evaluating my reason for touring and making music. If it wasn’t going to be for superficial reasons or for pure self-enjoyment then what was it for? Looking back now and even as I write this, it makes me cringe to think I needed to ask myself this question but youth has that crazy affect on us all. At that age, in the world of band, you really do believe you’re the next best thing to sliced bread.

   So there I was at a bit of a cross roads, nothing too dramatic, but in a head space that forced me to re-think my purpose for touring and making music. I kept it simple. I pulled out a blank piece of paper and began to write down a list of places, people and chance encounters I’d experienced which I felt enriched my music. Before I knew it my list continued on to a second page, then to a third, then to a fourth. I had experienced much more than I thought I had! There was a common thread throughout the list that practically leaped out from the page at me declaring ‘women in music have enriched my life!’ And truly that is the case. Any memorable show, any unforgettable performance, any time I needed new inspiration for my own songwriting, I looked to other female artists from around the globe to give me a lift!

   From my early days of experiencing Nikka Costa and Joan Osborne live at the State Theatre in Detroit, to the later days of catching Mihirangi live in Melbourne, Australia at the Espy Gershwin Room and Lucie Thorn at the Brunswick Hotel. These were groundbreaking experiences for me because they introduced me to the idea that music, world history and education go hand in hand as one of the world’s most oldest forms of storytelling. I began to see music and the art of performing in a new light. It became something more than just a social outlet, something greater than the stage or studio, something more lasting for the next generation to carry on from. The real challenge I was faced with now was the story I was going to tell and how I was going to tell it.

   While on the road I’d learned that if you want to remain on the path of least resistance, you share everything. From mic leads to guitar pedals right down to hair spray and shaving cream, I’ve had enough experience to know that the ride goes a heck of a lot smoother when you apply the ‘what’s mine is yours’ rule to the those people sharing the road with you. I believed that if I shared the story of my journey with like-minded musicians from other corners of globe we would undoubtedly find ourselves in a win-win experience.

   I began by calling on the help of friends from Melbourne to my hometown of Windsor, Ontario and all stops in between. Before I knew it, with the help of what I like to call ‘friends from the internet’, I was building a global network of music enthusiasts. From Romania, Russia, Poland, Germany, Turkey, The Netherlands, England, the Czech Republic, Canada and the USA we were all working together. I had an all girl band from Poland arranging our backline. A female fronted band from Romania organized our publicity and a couple of girlfriends from Istanbul booked our ground travel and accommodation. In turn, I invited bands from every international city we had booked to share the stage with us. From there I took it a step further and opened up the opportunity to musicians from my local community and invited them to join the tour as well. The response was overwhelming. Each day my inbox was filling up with letters of interest from around the globe.

   The xoxo tour launched its first show in August 2006 at Revolver Lounge in Victoria, Australia featuring three of Melbourne’s highly celebrated bands. From there we boarded a plane bound for Europe to embark on a tour that would have us perform in the Netherlands, Czech Republic, Romania, Poland, Germany and Turkey. The experience was an invaluable one. There were highs and there were lows and all stops in between. What could go wrong, did go wrong. But when it went right we remembered why we left our home soil in the first place. This was proof in the putting that when shared, the international stage can truly bring together artists from all genres of music in an effort to make a collective impact.

   Today the initiative continues on as artists who took part in the xoxo also contributed music and content for New Found Frequency’s latest social media technology. The new xoxo channel is now being co-produced by two of Windsor’s Holy Names high school students, Carley Comartin and Kashmir Ruiz. They too continue to expand the xoxo network. It’s an understatement to say that I am thrilled and proud that the xoxo movement has lived on these last four years as strongly as it has. I truly didn’t anticipate the response and support we continue to receive. To think, this is only the beginning. It’s overwhelming yet inticing.

African Beauty- A Look Beyond 3rd World Africa

When you hear the word Africa what do you think? I asked this question to a few people and several ideas came to mind like poverty, hunger, aids, ailments, wild animals, tall grass, struggles, tribes- just to name a few. One will find that while this can be encountered when going to Africa, these ideas are not the prevailing realities that stand true throughout the continent. Try to imagine incorporating words like gold, oil, diamonds, white sand beaches, tropical and desert lands, thriving cities, diverse languages, and unique cultures into your thoughts of Africa. It may seem farfetched or not fitting with the Africa that is shown in the media, but it is the Africa that goes unseen nonetheless.

Although much struggle is seen throughout the continent of Africa that is not all there is. The some media leave out the most crucial aspect of Africa, its beauty. The misconceptions lead people to believe that this 11,608,000 square mile heap of land, which can contain the United States, Europe, China, and Alaska combined, is comprised of grasslands, tribes, aids, poverty and not much else. I try to think of it like this: if in going from Pennsylvania to Florida or New York to California you find such diverse lands, cultures, and groups of people, imagine how much more diversity one will encounter in going from Morocco to South Africa or Ghana to Madagascar.

Tropical African rainforests are found towards the western part of the continent. The savannah, or grasslands consisting of scattered shrubs and trees, are found primarily in central and southern Africa. The Sahara, Africa’s desert lands, is the world’s largest non-arctic desert making it almost as large as the United States and it is located in Northern Africa. East Africa consists of both desert and grasslands. On the coasts one can find many white and black sand beaches, which are the primary attractions for tourists. One may also find many thriving and modern cities in Africa such as Dakar, Abijan, Windhoek, Lagos, Yaounde, Nairobi, and many more.

Adding on to Africa’s geography, the continent is also engrossed in natural resources, many of which are not benefitted by the people themselves but are exploited by other world nations. When one wakes up in the morning it is a common place to grab a cup of coffee, or hot chocolate, maybe even a banana. Much of Africa’s agriculture such as cocoa, coffee, bananas, oranges, yams, pineapples, and many fruits are exported to other countries. Common woods us North Americans use come from Africa, such as ebony and hardwood. One will also find minerals such as diamonds, gold, iron, cobalt, uranium, copper, bauxite, and, silver in addition to oil and petroleum in Africa.

Aside from the vast lands and natural resources, Africa is comprised of many different cultures and languages. The most popular ethnic groups in North Africa are Arab, Berber, and White. All of the northern African countries are Muslim, Christian, Jewish, or any combination of the three. The Arabic and Berber languages are similar to each other and both stem from the Afro-Asiatic families. South Africa is culturally diverse in that ethnically they consist of blacks, whites, coloreds (mixed race), and Asians with cultural influences from Europe, Asia, and native Africa.

Perceptions of Africa are focused and remain on the media portrayed image of the continent. There is much known about what plagues the land, but little is known about its positive and beautiful aspects, including the diverse lands, natural resources, and people. What is commonly seen as a large mass of struggle and poverty is actually a land of hope, beauty, and potential.